omaru | ( empatheias ) ic inbox.

No, it's okay...I mean, it wasn't any of my business, so I shouldn't have gotten involved.

[ Sorry that you have to deal with her low self-esteem here, Nahyuta. ]

Again, I'm really sorry for the trouble. I'll make sure it won't happen again.

No... You were being kind to Her Benevolence and giving her advice based on your own experience. It was unreasonable for me to behave as though you are responsible for her misunderstandings.

[Now he feels awful. He hadn't meant to upset her.]

Please, accept my apologies.

[ She honestly doesn't think it's his fault at all, and she could go back and forth with him insisting it was her fault due to her own self-perception, but it would be rude of her not to accept his apology even if she thinks it's unnecessary. She'd say as much, but that would bring them right back to that spiral of insisting on accepting the blame, so instead she nods, albeit uncertainly. ]

...It's okay, Sahdmadhi-san. I forgive you.

[ It still won't stop her from feeling guilty about it, but he doesn't need to know that. ]

[He bows his head, relieved to at least have her forgiveness. He knows he can be sharp-tongued, but there was no need to have taken it that far. Granted, most people can take it better than that, but still...]

I will... simply have to speak with Her Benevolence, and clarify the matter. [Somehow.] But I hope this does not deter you from advising her in future.

[Because Rayfa could always use more girls around her age to help her out, and Nahyuta doesn't want to scare her off thanks to one misunderstanding.]

Um, forgive me since I might just be intruding again here, but...I honestly don't think that humoring her would be such a bad idea? I know you don't really want to, a-and you don't have to! This is just a suggestion... [ She raises her hands placatingly, her expression growing sheepish. She still feels responsible, so she's trying to choose her words carefully. ] But when I spoke to Her Benevolence, one of the other advice I gave her was that she should just talk to you.

She told me that you both work in the High Court, so I suggested that she should talk to you about that, but...listening to you now, I guess she isn't ready to have a normal conversation with you yet? [ Never mind the fact that they couldn't possibly talk about court cases when they...weren't in court, but. ] It sounds like to me bickering with you is just her way of breaking the ice? ...That's what I think, anyways. I mean, I obviously don't know Her Benevolence that well, so I can't say for certain...but judging from what she told me as well as trying to put myself in her shoes, I don't think it'd be a bad idea to just play along with her. At least for a little while? If the bickering is harmless, then I don't see why not...

[ And there goes your consultation session, Nahyuta, completely on the house. ]

But don't worry, I wouldn't let something like this stop me from being friends with Her Benevolence. [ Though, she'd be lying if she said the thought didn't cross her mind. ] You see, um...it's a little embarrassing to admit, but I don't really have a lot of friends around my age. Here, I mean, but...also back at home, too? N-Not that I didn't have any friends my age at home! It's just... [ They died, and then she got kidnapped and imprisoned for a year and a half, and then the closest friend she made since then isn't here. Fun times. ] ...Things happened. It's a really long story, but anyways, yeah. I really do cherish Her Benevolence's friendship...but I might be stretching it there. After all, a queen wouldn't dare consider an ordinary girl like me as a friend.

[ She laughs, as if trying to pass off her self-deprecation as a joke, but the sound isn't genuine. She sounds pretty empty, even though she's trying to remain cheerful. ]

But...yeah, it's nice to have someone around my age to talk to, and if I can help Her Benevolence out in any way, then I'm glad.

[Nahyuta is silent throughout that, listening to her carefully. He certainly sees the value in breaking the ice, but his sister is such a sensitive topic to him, as is conflict with his family more generally. Even if Rayfa doesn't really mean to fight with him in any serious sense of the word, he can't help but feel like Rayfa wanting to argue with him actually means she's upset or angry with him in some way, or that he's failed as an older brother somehow. He only wants to get along with her, after years and years of being thought of as simply a disgraced cousin in hiding, unfit to be considered part of the royal family, or as a prosecutor to work alongside in court.

He won't convey any of that to a girl he barely knows, though, and his expression is calm and muted. Even if he hasn't been here long, he has the self-control -- most of the time, anyway -- not to let any stray thoughts slip.]

... I cannot speak for whether Her Benevolence considers you a friend. But if she has already confided in you to such an extent, I believe she trusts and respects your opinion. [No matter how carried away with it she gets.] And, from what I am beginning to understand of her... I think she would be glad to be of help to you, if you are in need of companionship as well.

[ She supposes that she can't argue with that. After all, Rayfa did open up to her immediately upon meeting her, and that had to mean that she thought of Komaru as someone she could trust. Komaru herself was the exact same way - she was quick to trust people and to call them a friend, but never has she had the tables turned on her. It took a while for her closest friend, Touko, to trust her, and Komaru's certain that the girl still doesn't trust her fully. That's why it's a little embarrassing, especially since Nahyuta's brought it to her attention, to think about Rayfa's trust in her, and her fluster shows through a faint blush on her cheeks. ]

Yeah...I guess you're right.

[ It's just hard to believe, but she won't refute it. It would be rude of her to, almost as if she's doubting Rayfa's trust in her, and she wants to believe in those she considers friends. ]

I appreciate the sentiment, but I wouldn't want to inconvenience Her Benevolence by making her worry about someone like me. [ Rayfa already has her own problems to deal with, and Komaru doesn't want to add to that by burdening her with her own feelings. ] Really, I'm fine as long as I can be of some help to her...people have always had to help me, so it's actually pretty refreshing to return the favor.

It is the duty of any queen to care for each and every one of her subjects. Likewise, if Her Benevolence is to become a wise and compassionate ruler, she will concern herself with all of her companions equally.

[He has no idea what she's implying by 'someone like me', not knowing Komaru or her low opinion of herself very well, but he's sure that's what Rayfa would think.]

Consider it from the perspective of a mutually beneficial relationship. She has had more than enough people to be of service to her, so it will help her more if she is able to be of help to you.

Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can't decline.

[ Not that she really wanted to, in the first place. Nahyuta had pretty much hit the mark when he said she needed companionship, but it's still a little embarrassing to have someone willingly want to help her rather than her just relying on them and dragging them along with her. That was how she became friends with Touko, after all. ]

...Thank you, Sahdmadhi-san.

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video; sorry about the late tag, finals are coming up for me!